      
Written by Alan Swanson & Doug Stahn
© 2008
WGAw No. 503176
FADE IN:
It is the fall of 1978. CLAY TEMBRO and his FATHER arrive at
the campus of Mankato State University. Clay receives
coaching from his father about what he should and shouldn't
do while at school. Clay's father concludes the lesson by
fervently reminding Clay that his education should be the
most important thing for him.
It is now November 1999. Clay drives his car, a "Herbie the
love bug" from hell. He pulls up to the house of an elderly
COUPLE and unpacks an Electrosux vacuum and a large
salesman's care. He demonstrates the vacuum for the couple,
and accidentally sucks their CAT into the vacuum with the
drapery attachment. The elderly couple summarily throw him
out. As a result, Clay loses his salesman's job with
Electrosux. One consolation -- he gets to keep the vacuum.
While watching television at home, Clay views a television
commercial for Porpoise Temporary Inc. and fantasizes about
being offered the perfect job with one of their fortune 50
clients. Clay makes an appointment for an interview after
returning to reality.
At Porpoise Temporary, Clay meets MANDY DOHMAS, the
receptionist. After taking an overly exhaustive battery of
skills tests, Clay interviews with MORTIMER WISENWACKER,
General Manager and Owner of Porpoise Temporary. Clay
leaves the interview convinced that he will find the perfect
job with one Porpoise's corporate clients. Mortimer is also
happy with the interview -- he has acquired yet another new
employee to exploit.
Clay goes on his first assignment at a stuff financial
services company working in the customer support center.
He blows this assignment on the second day when he
unintentionally insults his SUPERVISOR'S WIFE over the
phone. When Clay stops by Mortimer's office to pick up
his first paycheck, Mortimer informs Clay that he will
probably have to take on some less glamorous assignments.
Clay's next assignment is selling lotto tickets at a
convenience store to promote a $165 million dollar jackpot.
An elderly WOMAN frustrates the other lotto CUSTOMERS by
insisting on paying for a single $1.00 quick pick with
pennies, each of which she counts out individually. Clay
chastises the other customers for their impatience. When
the elderly woman asks Clay for a second quick pick, all
of the other customers collapse backwards like dominoes.
Clay accidentally goes to the wrong building for his next
assignment -- testing condoms. As a result, Clay
mistakenly thinks that he is to test the condoms by
actually going to bed with a beautiful lab supervisor,
HEATHER GOODNOUGH.
Back at Porpoise Temporary, Mortimer rebukes Clay for his
mistake. Mandy overhears this and offers to buy him
lunch. Clay and Mandy establish a degree of warmth while
dining together at Mr. Chicken... where you always get
"more CLUK for your BUK!"
Next, Clay has to work at a Sprat Boy Family Restaurant,
cleaning and dressing chickens with BOB PIPER, his
overseer. He becomes nauseous when it is time to clean
the chicken's private parts. During his break he meets a
regular customer named BEN, a rough-and-tumble old man who
is robustly humorous and tells unforgettable stories.
Clay's next job is to maintain video games at a large
arcade. He runs into a movable flight simulator, inserts
the required five tokens and climbs aboard. His try of
cleaner accidentally spills on top of the game, causing it
to go haywire. Clay ends up flying through the air and
landing in the hand of a stuffed KING KONG.
Clay's next task is recording secret love confessions for
a cheesy 1-900 line operation. He runs into his old
college friend Rob at the studio, who he discovers will
pose as the man in front of Clay's voice on a television
commercial. For the first time in his life, Clay is able
to gaps the cold truth about how he is perceived by the
1-900 company, his boss at Porpoise temporary, and the
outside world.
Back at his apartment, Clay reflects sadly on the ruin
his life has become, mustering enough courage to ask
Mandy out on a date. But when he calls her, she
regretfully tells him that Mr. Wisenwacker has already
asked her to join him on a Wisconsin skiing retreat for
the weekend. Mandy also reveals Mortimer's intentions
of asking Clay to join them.
Clay does join Mandy and Mortimer at the ski resort,
but to work rather than play. He has to grease all of
the bearings of the ski lift system. That night in
Mandy's room, Mortimer makes a play for Mandy and fails.
On his way back to his room, Mortimer stops at the
men's dormitory where Clay is being housed just to
wheedle him.
Next, Clay works as a court jester in a live television
broadcast of the "Dinty Spree Show". After the show, he
rectifies one of DINTY'S oversights -- forgetting to
present a promised birthday gift to a little GIRL who was
a guest on the show. Clay has become weary of working
for Porpoise Temporary and feels the need to start
fighting back, in some way. Clay fantasizes about doing
in Dinty with a bottle of seltzer water.
Clay's next job is collecting change at an Illinois
Department of Transportation (IDOT) tollway plaza.
A MOTORIST driving a Mustang GT speeds through Clay's
booth without paying. This is the last straw for Clay.
For the first time in his life, Clay decides to take a
stand and fight. He goes for his car and gives chase to
the motorist. Clay manages to drive the Mustang off of
the interstate and onto a shoulder. But when he confronts
the driver, he discovers that it is actually the elderly
woman from the convenience store who paid for her quick
pick with pennies. She informs Clay that she had to drive
through his booth since she forgot her pennies at home.
Clay faints to the ground. The elderly woman smiles
overtly and peels out as she gets back onto the interstate.
Clay meets Ben that evening at Sprat Boy. Ben offers Clay
some fatherly advice about being "too nice". Later that
same night, Mandy calls Clay at home. She is weeping
profusely. Clay comforts here and asks her to meet him
at Sprat Boy in the morning.
The next morning, Mandy tells Clay over breakfast that she
was fired by Mortimer for essentially not going to bed with
him. She also reveals to Clay that Mortimer turned down a
job offer on Clay's behalf from the financial services
company he originally temped at. When Ben joins Mandy and
Clay for breakfast, Clay notes that this is the first time
he has seen Ben in his construction work clothes. And then
an idea comes to Clay.
Clay confronts Mortimer at his office about what he has
done to Mandy and to him. Mortimer summarily fires him
and dares him to fight back, informing Mortimer that he
does not have the balls to do so. Clay reflects on this
and indicates to Mortimer that he is only half right.
Clay and Ben destroy Mortimer's Porsche with a wrecking
ball from Ben's construction company. As they drive away,
Ben asks Clay to be his new manager at Sprat Boy, which he
informs Clay that he actually owns.
Clay and Ben show up and Mandy's apartment, and Clay
gallantly offers Mandy a job at Sprat Boy as his Executive
Assistant. They embrace, as a proud Ben looks on from the
cab of the wrecking ball.
FADE OUT.
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